


Interrupted Lullaby

by AgentVanderwood



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 5 + 1 Things, 5 Things, 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Asexual Raphael, M/M, Pansexual Simon, Saphael, all the saphael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 12:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7171406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentVanderwood/pseuds/AgentVanderwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OR</p><p>5 Times Simon & Raphael Almost Kissed and the 1 Time They Did.</p><p>For <b><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/Daffadowndilly/">Daffadowndilly</a></b> who requested this, and for all Saphael Trash everywhere.</p><p>For a video of David playing the piano to give more feels to the scene where Raphael plays the piano in this fic, click <a href="http://hibyefxlicia.tumblr.com/post/146407365444/this-is-raphael-playing-the-piao-in-scene-iv-of-my">here</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interrupted Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Daffadowndilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daffadowndilly/gifts).



> **Disclaimer:** I do not own _Shadowhunters_ or _The Mortal Instruments_ , or any of Cassandra Clare's work.
> 
> Also, the way I write Raphael is as asexual in how it presents itself to me. I know that some asexual people don't like sex at all, some do, some are more like demis and have to be close to the person, and so on. I hope that my representation of Raphael as asexual in no way offends anyone, especially those who identify as ace, but if I have, please know that it was not intentional and I apologize. 
> 
> Feel free to follow me on my [tumblr](http://hibyefxlicia.tumblr.com/). Link to the translation for the spanish: [here](http://hibyefxlicia.tumblr.com/private/145773635764/tumblr_o8mojrA8VF1u61jtt).

**I.**

Simon was certain of two things when he arrived just outside of the Hotel Dumort. He was certain that he was a dead man and he was certain that he had never in his life been more sorry or more ashamed of his actions. If Raphael and the other vampires wanted him dead—like _really_ dead, not the _undead_ dead he currently was—then Simon would let them do what they needed.

He was not, however, expecting a very, _very_ —and understandably so—angry Raphael rushing up on him (though he supposed by now he should have come to expect the rushing) and hissing that he needed to leave if he wanted his sorry life to continue. Simon held out his hands in the universal sign of peace and held Raphael’s gaze. 

“Look, Raphael,” he said, his words rushing with how scared and nervous he was. “I never wanted to betray you. I just… I don’t know… I just wanted—”

“You _wanted_ to help out your _Shadowhunter_ girlfriend. Yeah, I know.”

Simon would have blushed if he still had the ability. “No, that’s not… I just wanted to help her but not because she’s my girlfriend. She’s not. Like really, _really_ not. She doesn’t like me like that. Not that that’s important here but she’s my best friend and her mom… she’s like a second mom to me and we needed Jocelyn. She’s important in whatever’s to come. But I never wanted it to happen like this. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Raphael raised his brows and laughed softly, rolling his eyes. 

“You think I’m _hurt_? You always were so amusing since the day… well that doesn’t matter. What does matter is you telling me why I shouldn’t tell the others to attack you right here, right now. That’s all they are waiting on. A signal from me and your time on this earth is over.”

Simon gulped and brought his hand up to his neck, rubbing it. He honestly didn’t feel as scared as he supposed he should have but something told him that all of this was a bluff. Raphael wouldn’t kill him. He didn’t know how he knew it, he just did 

“I’m sorry. Not just to you, but to the clan as well. To all of you,” he said, raising his voice so the others could hear him as well. “I’m really sorry. I’ve never been more sorry about anything in my life. I want to… I would like to come back… come back home but even if I can’t, even if you don’t want me… I promise I will help however I can to defeat Camille.”

Raphael frowned and Simon slipped his hands into his pockets, letting the leader think it over. He didn’t speak up again, though he wanted to—knowing it was best to let Raphael think in peace. He tried not to fidget though that proved impossible and Simon rocked back and forth on his heels as he waited. 

It felt like forever. A _lifetime_. But finally, Raphael nodded. Simon opened his mouth to speak, a smile bright on his lips. Raphael held up a hand and Simon shut his mouth with a snap. 

“It has been discussed. You will be allowed to return under _probationary_ means. You will only be able to come and go with _my_ permission. You will train with me every day, without fail. You are not to speak to any of the other vampires unless spoken to as we are all still very disappointed in you. If you do not adhere to these rules, you will be banned from the Hotel Dumort. Understand?”

Simon nodded rapidly and opened his mouth but closed it and raised his hand instead. Raphael rolled his eyes and snorted. 

“ _Dios._ You do not have to raise your hand, idiot,” he said. “What is it?”

Simon beamed. “I just want to say thank you. You will not regret this. I promise you won’t.”

Raphael smiled though it was soft and a little sad. “I better not. It took a lot of convincing for the others to agree to your returning. Some seem to think I’ve been a little soft on you since you turned. I will not be making that mistake again.” 

He moved closer, looking him over as if to be certain he was in one piece, and Simon was certain his heart fluttered though that was impossible as his heart had stopped working the night he died. 

Simon shifted closer instinctively and for a moment nothing happened. Simon was silent and Raphael searched his gaze for long moments. He seemed as if he wanted to say something, perhaps do something, but Simon would never know what that was because a moment later, Raphael reached out to grip his shoulder. 

“Welcome home,” he said, his voice carrying. Simon supposed it was so the others would hear and know that Simon was officially allowed to return. Then more quietly, the older vampire added. “ _Don’t_ make me regret this, fledgling.” 

Letting go of him, Raphael rushed inside, leaving Simon no choice but to follow.

**II.**

After a week, Simon had been given permission to leave the hotel. He had been told that he could continue his friendships with the Shadowhunters and the werewolves but at the first sign of trouble, his probationary truce with Raphael and the New York vampires would come to an end and he would forfeit his place among his own from that moment until the end of time, or his untimely demise. Whichever came first.

Simon was grateful for his leave of absence from the hotel. Not that he wasn’t happy to be back, he just had forgotten how claustrophobic he felt with nowhere to go. He had missed the open air and he had really missed his friends—Clary and Luke especially. He had been surprised one evening after a particularly rough training session with Raphael when the leader had snapped at him to take a walk—preferably far from the hotel and not to return until just before sunrise. Simon had hesitated until Raphael—a little softer—explained that he wasn’t kicking him out and that he _was_ , perhaps unwittingly, putting his trust in him not to make a stupid mistake. 

It was nice, spending time with Luke at the Jade Wolf. He explained what had happened after he had returned to Raphael and Luke seemed impressed with his loyalty to the vampires, though werewolves and vampires rarely got along. Simon would not fall into that particular cliche, however, and would bare his fangs ironically to the first person who told him he had to. He was humming a song to himself, feeling lighter and happier than he had in a long time, as he made his way back to the hotel when suddenly, things took a turn for the worst. 

Not surprising, right? Like, why in the world would things actually go right for him for once? The turn for the worst came in an annoyingly stunning package in the form of one Camille Belcourt. Simon hissed, fangs appearing instantly. He had just barely sensed her in time, the hair rising at the back of his neck, and faked to the right. She laughed, the sound both musical and menacing. A sound, he was sure, that would haunt him for the rest of his days (or perhaps nights was more appropriate)—that was, if he lived through through this one.

He turned sharply to see Camille not feet away, stalking toward him with a smirk on her face that said as clear as day: I’ve won. 

“If by going back to that traitor like a dog with his tail between his legs you hoped to accomplish something, you were so very _wrong_ , my rich little caramel.”

Simon backed slowly, knowing that he had a better chance at escaping by using all his newborn speed but was unable to get his mind and body on the same page. He swallowed hard.

"What's the matter, pet? Cat got your tongue? Now, why don't you save me the hassle of chasing you, as we both know I'll catch you, and just come to me. See, I _need_ you if I'm going to get Raphael to incite a war between the clan and those who stayed loyal to me. And once he does, I'll end his miserable life and take what's rightfully mine."

Simon didn't dare take his eyes off her but suddenly wondered if there were other vampires here that were loyal to her. When was he going to take Raphael's training seriously? If he had, he wouldn't be in this situation. But something she had said peaked his curiosity and he found himself focusing on her words rather than his surroundings and any possible threats they might be hiding. 

" _Raphael?_ You think that by kidnapping _me_ you'll make Raphael _fight_ you?"

He sounded incredulous but, honestly, the idea of it was just ridiculous. Humorous even. It was like Raphael said the night he let Simon escape the first time. 

He didn't matter. Not to the vampires. Sure as hell not to Raphael himself. 

"Oh no, sweet boy." She shook her head and clucked her tongue. The patronizing tone made Simon glare at her but he still had no idea what she was going on about. "Well, maybe not by _kidnapping_ you but most assuredly by _killing_ you." She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, as if realizing something, and laughed cruelly. 

"For a guy who seems so smart, you really are stupid," she said, snapping in irritation. "Or can you _really_ not see how much Raphael _cares_ about you?"

That hit Simon like a ton of cliche bricks. Raphael... _care_ about him? What on earth was this insane lady talking about? Or had she not been there when Raphael had kicked him out for betraying him the last time, saying that he and Camille had deserved the same fate? Sure, he had let him come back, but he was a man with a sense of duty and justice. He had also made it clear on just how thin of ice Simon was currently on. But care about him? Enough to incite a civil war among vampires... 

Simon didn't get much time to process such a crazy notion because in the next second, several things happened in such quick succession that it left Simon dizzy. One moment, he sensed sudden danger, and the next he found himself standing with his back against the wall of a building with Raphael pressing him against it. Simon blinked rapidly and opened his mouth to ask him just what the hell was happening when the older vampire beat him to it. 

"Just shut up and _stay_ here, fledgling. We'll handle this." 

In a flash, Raphael rushed off to join a fray that was taking place in the very spot he'd been standing moments before. Simon was about to rush to help but a strong hand held him still. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said a pretty Asian vampire. There was something familiar about her but he couldn't remember officially meeting her. She was watching the fray with a wistful look on her face but glanced at him as if feeling his gaze upon her. She smiled and instantly Simon felt better, calmer. 

"I'm Lily Chen. I'm a good friend of Raphael's." 

"Simon." 

"I know. I mean, I would have known regardless because fledglings are kind of a big deal for the clan but I really, _really_ know because of Rafe."

"Rafe? Oh, _Raphael_. Why him? Can't shut up about how crappy a vampire I am?" 

She quirked petite eyebrows and laughed softly, the sound dainty and sweet. 

"I can see why he likes you. Now, no more questions and stay here or you'll have to answer to me and you don't want that."

Simon didn't want her to go. You couldn’t just drop a bomb like that and say _no more questions_ before rushing off.

Well, apparently if you were Lily Chen, you could. _Must be nice,_ Simon thought ruefully but stayed put, as he was told.

He couldn't really make out what was happening. The vampires moved far too fast and even with his brand, shiny new supernatural eyesight, it gave Simon a supernatural headache to try to watch the fight as it progressed. 

Instead, Simon made excellent use of his time worrying over Raphael and the other vampires of the Hotel Dumort, and also wondering if he should run now on the off chance it was Camille and her followers that came out on top.

_Stay here, fledgling._

Even now, Raphael's words struck a chord with him; they surrounded him as if the grumpy vampire were still pinning him in place. Simon sighed. 

What good would running do? At best, Raphael and the New York clan won and Raphael would consider his disobedience at a direct order to be betrayal and Simon would be banned from the hotel and the clan forever. At worst, Raphael and the New York clan lost, died, and Camille and her followers would catch and kill him anyway. 

And so, Simon decided, he would stay put and pray that the Raphael and the vampires that stayed loyal to Raphael won. 

Raphael needed to win, in any case. 

If only so Simon could learn just what Camille and Lily meant. 

As it turned out, Simon hadn't needed to worry. Camille and her small group of followers had been no match for Raphael's clan. There were some casualties—if vampires losing their afterlives could be considered casualties? One or two had passed on and there were a number of injuries, but for the most part, the victory had been in the bag. 

Simon was quite proud of himself, as even with Camille and those left of her followers on the run and the danger gone, he had not moved one inch from where Raphael had left him. He continued to watch from his spot on the wall, smiling as Raphael checked in with each and every vampire, ensuring their well being and safety. Only once he had checked with each of the vampires that had fought with him did Raphael's eyes cut across the distance to meet with Simon's. 

Simon felt his body heat as he held that gaze, dark and intense. He would have said it was as if that gaze took his breath away, but Raphael would have rolled his eyes and reminded him that as vampires, they didn't need to breath. Instead, he waited and in seconds, Raphael had closed the distance separating him to stand before him. 

"Are you alright? None of them came over? None of them hurt you, right?" 

It was Simon's turn to roll his eyes. 

"You and the others just fought in _battle_ and you're asking me if I'm hurt? You have a deep gash running down your arm and you want to make sure none of them came over to chat, ask me to tea, or otherwise attempt to murder me?"

Raphael's glare was answer enough and Simon sighed. 

"No. I'm fine. None of them made it past you guys. Now, seriously. Can you _please_ get that taken care of? It looks really, _really_ bad."

And it did. The gash was thick and looked deep. Simon didn't really know what vampire first aid looked like but Raphael seemed well enough. On any human, they'd be passing out by now but Raphael looked as fit as a fiddle. If fiddles had deep gashes that ran down their arms. If fiddles had arms. 

He didn't know what he was even thinking any more. He blamed stupid Camille and Lily Chen for putting ridiculous thoughts in his head that were making him act even more Simon-y than normal. Raphael looked amused at least. 

"It's not as bad as it looks," he said finally, his voice soft. He moved in closer and reached out to grip his arm. His gaze was even darker and deeper up close and Simon was positive that if he wasn't careful, he could get lost in those deep pools of brown. They reminded him of chocolate—dark chocolate; Simon _loved_ dark chocolate. He licked his lips nervously as his lashes fluttered and he swallowed hard. Raphael must have registered his gulp as a sign of worry as he sighed. " _Dios mio._ Promise. I'm fine. It'll heal soon enough."

He hesitated and Simon was sure he was about to say something else but Lily's soft voice carried across the way and Raphael sighed. He squeezed Simon's shoulder once, released it, and turned away. 

"Let's go home, fledgling." 

Once again, Simon was left with no choice but to follow.

**III.**

Simon wished there was a switch to turn the whole vampire skills and talents thing on but alas, life—and even unlife—didn't work like that.

Raphael snapped at him time and time again, obviously exasperated as he explained that the reason he was getting so exhausted, so fast, and so _easily_ , was because deep down, in his subconscious, he was still trying to be _human_. 

"It's about time you accept it, fledgling," Raphael said. His tone was sharp but there was just the softest hint of understanding as well. "You are _not_ mundane. You are a _vampire_."

Simon flinched. "I know." Then softer. "I _know_." 

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, wiping the sweat back from his forehead. He looked Raphael over—he had been doing that a lot more since the night Camille tried to attack him. He told himself it was for _science_. He needed to watch Raphael for tips on how to be a vampire—how the other responded to certain things and how the other moved. It was all part of the training. Nothing more. 

The truth of the matter was that whatever the reason—the truth or what he told himself—he had been watching Raphael _constantly_. 

At the moment, Simon noticed how Raphael, wearing sweats, a simple dark t-shirt, and his cross, didn't look as if he had been running Simon through training all morning. No sweat. No hard breathing—since vampires didn't do the breathing thing and all. Not a single hair out of place. 

He looked amazing and for a few moments, Simon hated him for looking so good. Especially when Simon felt like a dirty, stinky old mop. 

Forcing himself to quit panting, Simon drew himself upright, causing himself to stand taller, straighter. Immediately, he felt better. Not _perfect_. But better. Even a little more confident. 

"Alright, let's do this," he said. He focused on his body and on the way Raphael pushed away from the wall he had been leaning against. The older vampire snorted, a smirk slipping over his lips.

"Are you sure you haven't embarrassed yourself enough for today?"

Simon said nothing. Instead, he allowed a challenging look to settle across his features. Raphael's brows rose before his expression became serious. 

Simon had all of a second to register what was happening and moved just in time to keep Raphael from tossing him into this or pinning him against that. He let out a victorious sound but the moment was short lived as he suddenly found himself pinned to the ground. 

His head hit the ground with a sickening crunch and his ears rang for a second before the pain and the ringing faded. He opened eyes that he hadn't realized he had closed to see Raphael's face extremely close to his own, concern in his dark eyes.

"Are you alright, baby," he asked, the concern spilling from his eyes into his voice. Simon couldn't help but smile up at him. The pet name _baby_ hadn't been lost on him either. He wanted to tease Raphael about it but he was certain that Raphael hadn't realized he'd said it and Simon didn't want him to stop. He liked the way it sounded, the way it fell so softly from the older vampire's rather distractingly pretty mouth, and the way warmth built up in the pit of his stomach. If Raphael wanted to call him _baby_ and nothing else, Simon would be more than happy to respond. 

"Yeah," he said, holding Raphael's gaze. "I'm good. Pretty much hurt for a second before it stopped."

Raphael's eyes narrowed and he frowned. Simon snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Now who's worrying over nothing. Promise. Scout's honor."

Raphael snorted at that but the look in his eyes was uncertainty and guilt. Simon's gaze fell to Raphael's mouth, his tongue sliding along lips that suddenly felt too dry. A few moments passed where neither said anything before Simon cleared his throat.

"So... as much as I am enjoying being pinned to this really hard ground, and I have to tell you—I am really enjoying it—we should... we should probably get up."

Raphael's eyes widened and in less than a second he was off Simon and had moved to the other side of the room. Simon sighed as he picked himself up from the ground, stretching his muscles as he watched the other. 

"Let's go again," he said but Raphael was shaking his head. 

"That's good for today. We'll pick this back up tomorrow. I've got other matters of importance that need my attention. Good... good job." 

Simon couldn't even respond before Raphael had disappeared from the room. Groaning to himself, Simon slid his fingers through his hair before deciding that a shower and a nice glass of blood sounded amazing.

**IV.**

Simon didn't know what possessed him to go walking the halls of the Hotel Dumort. It was several hours before sunset and Simon was restless. He had tried to sleep. When that had proven impossible, Simon had turned first to music, then comics, and had finally given up.

He didn't know where he was going. He had just started walking as he told himself that the hotel wasn't _that_ big so it was unlikely that he would get lost. And if he did get lost, at some point he would run into someone who could show him the way back to his room.

Reaching the end of the long hall where his room was located, Simon found a staircase that wound upward. He took it, coming onto another long hall that was identical to the one below. He had gone maybe a quarter of the way when soft, beautiful, and extremely sad music reached his ears. It took him all of a few seconds to identify the sound as piano music and Simon hurried toward the sound, absolutely hypnotized. 

Halfway down the hall, a large oak door—one in a set of two—sat ajar, light spilling from the opening. As Simon drew closer, he confirmed that this was where the music was coming from. 

Not wishing to alert whoever was inside of his presence, Simon thought back to Raphael's lessons about the movements of a vampire. He was able to almost glide to the crack in the door; Simon peeked in only to have his eyes widen at the sight before him. 

Raphael sat in the back of the room at a large, ancient grand piano. The piano was jet black, the same color of all the clothes Raphael had chosen to wear that day. They contrasted with the deep, royal purple of the curtains that covered the windows along the entirety of the back wall. 

The older vampire, for his part, had closed his eyes. His face did not hold any of its usual stress and tenseness. His brows were relaxed, as was his jaw. His mouth was curved into the softest, most content smile Simon had ever seen cross their leader's face. Simon couldn't help but smile happily, just grateful to have had the opportunity to witness something like this. 

He watched, mesmerized as Raphael's fingers glided along the keys, the notes rising into the air and floating across space and time to create such heart wrenching music. Simon hadn't realized he had entered the room until he was halfway to the piano and by that moment it was far too late to stop. 

Raphael sensed movement and before Simon could warn him, before he could announce his presence, Raphael had risen, shut the piano lid, and rushed to stand before him. 

"What are you _doing_ here?" 

The tone was more accusatory that Simon was sure Raphael meant it to be but Simon shrugged. 

"Couldn't sleep. My usual interests weren't very interesting, so I went for a walk. Then I heard this really freaking _amazing_ piano music and music’s kind of a big deal to me—I love music—so I came investigating." 

Raphael's eyes searched his and Simon was surprised to find that Raphael was checking to see if he was teasing him. Simon brought a hand up to his brow, saluting the other. 

"Scouts honor," he said before licking his lips, letting his arm fall to his side.His eyes moved to the piano the music had come from. "It was really pretty. Breathtakingly _beautiful_ , Raphael. I don't recognize it though..."

Glancing back at the older vampire, Simon noted the return of the soft, content look. 

"You wouldn't," Raphael said, but there was no malice or teasing, just a matter-of-fact tone. "It is something _mi mamá_ —my mother—wrote. We didn't have a lot when I was younger. We weren't poor necessarily, but with quite a few sons, money was often stripped thin. My mother had this piano—an antique back then—that had been handed down to her by someone very dear to her in the family. It was the very piano she had spent hours learning how to play and once she had mastered it, many more hours playing for anyone who would listen. Many times playing for no one but herself and God. It was her tiny piece of heaven on earth."

Simon was silent. Uncharacteristically so, but he did not want to interrupt Raphael when he was being so open. He didn't know why but the moments when Raphael opened up to him about his life before he had turned—he lived for those rare moments. He recalled the night Raphael had told him about his own change and everything he had done to return to his family, to his mother, while still keeping the fact that he was a vampire a secret. His friendship with Magnus—was _everyone_ in this Shadow World somehow connected to the guy?—and his constant battle with his cross pendant, sacred ground, and even saying the name of God. It had opened his eyes further to the kind of man Raphael was. The kind of man Simon would want to follow. There was no such thing as a perfect leader, but if you asked Simon, Raphael came damned close. 

"That song you just heard. It was a lullaby she wrote for me shortly after I was born. She would continue to play it for me as I grew, then for my brothers, and later for her grandchildren. Others in the family have learned it and so the song isn't one anyone would know but it lives on in the Santiago family."

Simon couldn't stop smiling. He was shocked to find that more than anything, he wanted to tug this amazing guy against him and kiss him hard but he was positive that any advances would be met with definite rejection. He was also positive beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was falling in love with the vampire that stood across from him. His heart clenched painfully to know in that very moment that someone like Raphael would never in a million, billion years ever consider Simon in such a way. 

He swallowed and nodded toward the piano. 

"Well, please don't let me keep you. I can just... I'll just go."

Simon turned and headed for the door but just as he reached the threshold, Raphael stopped him. 

_"Eres un idiota,"_ he said and Simon snorted, turning back. 

_"Sí lo soy. ¿Pero por qué?"_

Raphael's brows rose but he only smirked. Apparently, he wasn't too surprised at the fact that Simon knew Spanish. 

"You can stay, baby," the vampire said before returning to the piano. He immediately began to play the song Simon had interrupted. 

Simon hesitated in the doorway before crossing the room. He noticed a bit of space on the bench that Raphael had left for him and with a soft, sad smile, Simon took it.

**V.**

To say that Simon was surprised when Raphael came to call that next night would have been a serious understatement. He blinked for a few minutes before the other sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to invite me in?"

That brought Simon around, laughing softly. "I would think that the leader of the New York chapter of vampires could just order me to and I would have no choice but to obey," he teased. 

A spark of amusement filtered through Raphael's intense gaze. 

"You're right. Let me in, fledgling."

Simon stepped aside, smirking as he closed the door behind them. Suddenly, he wished he had thought to clean up a little. The room wasn't dirty, per say. He just had some books, comics, and movies strewn about and his bed was a tangled mess of blanket and sheets. 

He watched as Raphael took all of this in, a simple smile on his face. Simon wondered what thoughts were going through the other's mind. He fortunately didn't have to wonder for long. 

"I don't know how you accomplished it, but only you could take a room full of the finest modern furniture and decor, and make it cozy. Make it _tu casa_ —home."

Simon couldn't stop beaming as he headed further inside, tugging a jacket off of the little couch. Gesturing at it, he glanced at Raphael. 

"Please, sit. Make yourself at—"

 _"Home?"_ Raphael finished with a fond smirk. Simon would have blushed if he had retained the ability but nodded. 

"Yeah, I'm not sure what brings you around—what does bring you around, by the way—but we can watch a movie or play video games or whatever you like."

Simon continued to ramble, listing off some movie titles, followed by games Raphael might like to play, as he zipped around the room, straightening things up. When he finished and glanced up at Raphael again, he found the other was no longer standing where he had left him. 

A frown formed on his face. Had he annoyed the other? Maybe he had seen his need to clean up as fidgeting. Raphael had told him the first time they met that he hated fidgeting. 

"Baby, I'm over here."

Simon spun and his eyes widened to see the vampire leader sitting on the edge of his bed, brows raised and a wary look on his ridiculously attractive face.

"Come here." Raphael patted the spot beside him and Simon went without thinking, sinking onto the mattress. He felt abuzz with nerves. 

"Hey," he said, voice wavering. 

Raphael smiled, eyes sparking with good humor. 

"Hey, yourself."

"So... why did you come?"

Raphael looked down at his hands in his lap and didn't speak right away. Simon was about to repeat the question, worried Raphael hadn't heard him when the older vampire began to talk. 

"I'm not exactly sure... I just—I wanted to be around you."

Simon felt warmth spread through his chest. Raphael turned toward him, the movement causing his leg to press against Simon's, and looked him in the eyes. 

"I find myself wanting to spend more and more time with you, Simon. I have to admit that never in the many years I've been on this earth has anyone ever had such an effect on me. And then you in all your rambly, fidgety annoyingness—but endearingly so—come along and change that and I just don't know what to do with that information."

Simon nodded, his mouth dry as he registered what it was he thought Raphael was saying. He sensed that the older vampire was extremely nervous, though he didn't show it, and Simon wanted—no, _needed_ —to help him feel better. Calmer. He didn't want the other to leave; he didn't want to give the other any reason to run away. 

"It's okay, Raph," he said, hesitating before reaching out to rest his hand gently on the other's hands. "I'm glad you came. I'm glad you told me. This is good. Talking is good. We can do something... we can get somewhere with the talking."

He smiled, laughing nervously. Uncomfortable silence passed between for a few seconds before Simon spoke up again. 

"I like you, Raphael. And yes, as a friend. We _are_ friends. Even as my pseudo sire but it's... it's more than that. I _really_ like you. Romantically. And I'm attracted to you. _God_ am I attracted to you."

Raphael didn't look at him in shock or surprise. He only smiled and there was something about the smile that was almost sad. 

“I know, _mi querido_.”

Simon's eyes widened and Raphael rolled his eyes with a soft snort. 

"Simon, you aren't exactly the most subtle of people."

Simon supposed that was true. He shrugged. 

"Okay, so if I like you and you _know_ I like you, and you like me back, I don't see the problem here."

Raphael's smile got sadder, if that was even possible. He looked down at his hands, Simon's hand on top. Simon wanted to speak up again because that was what Simon did when he was tense, but Raphael wasn't Simon and what worked for Simon wouldn't work for Raphael. 

Simon waited, chewing his lower lip as he watched the other. 

"I don't love the same as you, Simon. The same as most people. The way I care, the way I feel, is different. For most of my life, it never had a name but within the last ten years, it's found one. I'm what people call Asexual. I have never and probably will never feel sexually attraction for another person. I don't feel sexually attracted to you." 

He glanced at Simon, a guilty expression across his features, before looking down again. 

"I do care a great deal about you. There's always been _something_ about you... ever since you wouldn't stop fidgeting when I was holding you captive." 

Raphael smiled fondly at the memory. Simon could only smile in response, keeping his focus on the older vampire. He squeezed Raphael's hand encouragingly. 

"But I'm afraid I can't be what you want... what you deserve." 

Simon couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

"You think that I wouldn't want you because you don't want to have sex with me?" 

Raphael looked at him, eyebrows raised. He looked surprised at Simon's sudden outburst. Simon pulled his hand back and moved so that he was kneeling before the other, looking up into his face. 

"Raphael, I mean okay. I _like_ sex. It's fun to me. And yes, I'd love to have sex with you but that's not a deal breaker for me. So we don't have sex. I've got two hands and a pretty active imagination."

Raphael chuckled. 

"Well, I'm not saying _never_... but if it happens, it'll be all about you, all for you... well, mostly for you... and it's not going to happen right away. Just... be patient with me."

Simon snorted. "I never thought I'd see the day when Raphael Santiago asked me to be patient with him." 

"Watch it, fledgling. I'm still your sire." 

Simon laughed. "No. You're my _boyfriend_. At least, I'd like you to be..."

Simon was certain in that moment that if Raphael had the ability to blush, he would be bright red. 

"I would very much like to be."

Simon smiled brighter than he had in a very long time. He was surprised to realize in that moment that most of the smiles he had smiled since turning were almost all of Raphael's doing. 

He took Raphael's hands in his own and squeezed them, his eyes locking with the other's as they just smiled at each other for a few moments. 

"Raphael?"

"Hmm?" 

"Can I kiss you?"

Raphael didn't look upset or mad. His expression was one of focus and consideration. At long last, he shook his head. 

"Not tonight. I'm not quite comfortable with the idea just yet." 

Simon nodded, still smiling. 

"Can I hold you? The offer of a movie with the addition of cuddles still stands."

Raphael snorted but smiled and gave a single nod of agreement. 

"Now _that_ sounds wonderful."

**\+ 1**

Over the course of the next month, he spent as much time with Raphael as he could. Of course, with the threats of Valentine and Camille, there were many times they couldn't spend together but that just made the times they could even better.

There were many times he wanted to kiss the other but he had decided that he would let Raphael make the first move. He wanted Raphael to feel completely comfortable in whatever they did together and he never wanted the older vampire to feel as if he had to do something just to make Simon happy. 

During the first month, they had taken it slow. They stuck to cuddles and Raphael had slowly integrated little shows of affection as well as accepting the same from Simon. Little soft pecks to foreheads or cheeks, soft brush of lips against hands, light kisses against necks—although the last Simon often could only take so much of before he had to ask Raphael to stop for a bit. What could he do? His neck was especially sensitive and sometimes he suspected Raphael extended the kisses to mess with him, though it did nothing for Raphael himself. He supposed sexual attraction or not, Raphael still liked the power in knowing just how to get to Simon. 

The two had fallen into a routine so even when things pulled them away, on the days when most vampires were sleeping or otherwise spending alone time in their rooms, Simon and Raphael met up in the music room Simon had caught Raphael playing that night. Simon would mostly just sit and listen but some nights he would bring his guitar and the two would play and Simon would sing for his boyfriend. 

One night a week into the second month of dating, Simon brought his guitar along and asked Raphael if he would allow him to play alone first. Raphael looked confused but agreed to the request. Simon then began to play, singing the song he had wrote for the grumpy, old vampire that was his boyfriend whom he loved. 

Raphael was speechless as he listened. There were no eyerolls or snide comments or exasperated comments of _Dios!_ Just dark, intense brown eyes oddly bright and a soft, happy, content smile on a handsome face. Simon couldn't look away in that moment for all the world and when he strummed the last notes of his song, that was when it happened. 

Raphael didn't even wait for him to put his guitar down before he surged across the space between them—across space and time itself—to press his lips against Simon's. The movement was soft and unsure but Simon didn't mind. He smiled into the kiss, letting go of the guitar to cup his boyfriend's face in his hands. He kissed back: gently, softly, encouragingly. Raphael relaxed into the kiss and when the kiss ended, and they pulled back to look at each other, Simon noticed a single bloody tear as it slid along Raphael's cheek. He quickly whisked it away with the pad of his thumb. 

_"Te quiero, baby,"_ Raphael whispered. 

Simon rubbed his nose to Raphael's and stole a little peck. 

_"Te quiero, cariño,”_ Simon said, just before Raphael kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and send kudos if you enjoyed this work. Feel free to follow me on my [tumblr](http://hibyefxlicia.tumblr.com/). Link to the translation for the spanish: [here](http://hibyefxlicia.tumblr.com/private/145773635764/tumblr_o8mojrA8VF1u61jtt).
> 
> Also, I may write a follow up fic exploring their first month as a couple in greater detail. Let me know if that's something you guys might like!
> 
> For a video of David playing the piano to give more feels to the scene where Raphael plays the piano in this fic, click [here](http://hibyefxlicia.tumblr.com/post/146407365444/this-is-raphael-playing-the-piao-in-scene-iv-of-my).


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